Russian Roulette
T.U.F.F. HQ: Chief: Agents Puppy and Katswell, report to my office immediately. Kitty: What is it Chief? Chief: I have a mission of global importance for you. You're going to Russia. Dudley: Something seems familiar about this name. Chief: I guess you know which agent will be with you during the mission. Kitty: Yup! Dudley: Actually, I don't know. Could you tell me Kitty? *Meanwhile in T.U.F.F. lab* R: (whispering) I finally made my new bomb trigger mechanism. Any sound louder then a whisper will activate it and the bomb will detonate in 10 seconds. Chief via wristcom: R, REPORT TO MY OFFICE NOW! Bomb starts beeping. R: Okay R, you knew this could happen, It's your own fault (bomb explodes). At least (cough) I know it works. I'll be there right now (cough) Chief. In the Chief's office: Chief: Agents, I can't tell you the briefing for reasons of secuity, you will go to Russia, contact R.U.F.F. and recieve the briefing there. Kitty: We got it, Chief. Let's go guys, to the T.U.F.F. mobile. R: Sorry guys, we can't take the T.U.F.F. Mobile this time. Kitty: Why not? *Walking through the T.U.F.F. parking* R: Russia has a strict air security policy. Any unregistered vehicle will be shut down by missles. Dudley and Kitty: Really!!! R: Yup, that's why we're taking my car this time. Dudley: You have a car ? R (ironicly laughing): No, I just run from home to work 20 km every day. Anyway, we'll take my own R.U.F.F. Mobile. It's a heavily modified Beartley. It has rocket boosters, missles, blaster shield....and even a barbeque grill built in the back seats. Dudley: Awesome ! *They get in the car* R: During our flight we will achieve the Mach 2 speed, so I have 3 simple rules: Close the windows, buckle up.....and try the barbeque, it's really nice. R.U.F.F. Mobile exits the T.U.F.F. parking and converts into a military plane. The rocket engines ignite and the car dissapears from sight in less then 1 second. R: We will arrive at the Russian border in 2 hours. One hour 55 minutes later. Via R.U.F.F. Mobile's radio station. ???: You are entering Russian air space. Identify yourselves or you will be shot down. R: Familiar voice. Hey Stas, is that you? ???: R ? R: Yup it's me. Identification code 184756 vehicle number 222. Stas: Ok, but how can I be sure it's you R? R: You own me 1,000 rubles from the last bowling party. Stas: Yup, it's you. Listen I'll return them... R: Don't worry about that, you can keep them. Staz: Thanks R. Welcome to the motherland, and have a nice day. R: Thanks. Kitty: You know him? R: I know many persons. Guys, prepare for the landing. Thay land on the teritory of a mansion. Kitty: This doesn't look like a R.U.F.F. HQ!? R: Yes, it's nine o'clock, and by this time of the day, R.U.F.F. is closed. That's why we'll pass the night at my house. Entering house and walking through the rooms. R: I have a few spare rooms, in case some guests will come so you guys make yourselves confortable. Every sleeping room has a 4 digits passcode which you introduce for more security. You can exit the room only by reintroducing it. Dinner will be ready in 30 minutes. Then sleep time. Dudley: IT'S JUST LIKE AT MY HOUSE, I always have to go to bed early. Next morning 6 am. R (via megaphones installed through the house) (with a gentle voice): Kitty, Dudley, the sun is up and shining, we gotta wake because today is the big day. A symphony starts to pe performed. Kitty (in her room): What a nice way to wake up. Dudle (in his rom): WHERE DOES THIS SOUND COME FROM. R (via megaphones): Great, I see you are both up. You have 30 minutes to dress and wash up. Then we'll serve the breakfast. In the kitchen. R (eating): Godd morning Kitty, say, where is Dudley? Dudley (via wristcom): KITTY, I forgot my password! Kitty: Try 0,0,0,0. Dudley: It's not working! Kitty: Try 1,1,1,1. Dudley: Thanks Kitty. Dudley arrives in the kitchen. R: Ok then, let's eat, then we'll go to R.U.F.F., and start the briefing on our mission. At R.U.F.F. HQ: R: We're here guys, my Chief will be briefing us, he's a really nice guy and good friend. Entering R.U.F.F.'s Chief office. Chief: R, my boy, glad you made it, I see you brought the agents you and the T.U.F.F. Chief highly recommended. R: Yup, guys, meet the Chief. Dudley (whispering loudly to Kitty): Kitty, he isn't our Chief, it's an impostor. Chief (whispering to R): I suppose this is the second agent you have described. R: Yes, anyway, guys, will you present yourselves. Kitty: T.U.F.F. Agent Kitty Katswell reporting for duty. Dudley: T.U.F.F. agent Dudley Puppy reporting for duty. Chief: Ok, agent Ditty and Kudley, will have now a short briefing on your next mission..... Kitty: Sorry to interrupt, but you got our names wrong. Chief (honestly): Sorry, not so good at remembeing Western names. Anyway, during the last 2 years R.U.F.F., T.U.F.F. and several other agencies have been gathering information on all the illegal weapon smuggling organisations in the world. Today, at the Kremlin Palace, the most important military figures of every country will gather and join their gathered intel, including the hide-out of the criminals, all their members names and their leaders names. By the way to the palace the intel and the generals will be heavily guared, but as this meeting is top secret, the Palace won't be protected by anything, not a single tank, plane or Swat troop. After combining all the gathered intel, the generals will plan a massive attack on all the bases of the criminals and in a short time, take them all out at exactly the same time. By doing so, we will eradicate the terorism from the entire world and be a step closer to world safety. Agents, your mission is to guard the generals and the intel at all cost during the meeting. We have information that one of your american criminals, some Jack Rabbit, will try and steal all this information, which exists only in one duplicate. If he wil manage to steal it, he will gain influence and power in the world of terorism and weapons smuggling, not even mentioning the enormous profits he will have afterwards. This is a mission of global security, God be with you agents and good luck. Meanwhile in a train near Moscow: Waitress: Sir, here is the tea and carrots you have ordered. Jack: Thank you very much. Waitress leaves Jack's cabin in the train. Jack: After I will steal this list with crucial information, I will make an entire fortune and no one will ever stop me. (turns on his musical hi-tech sleeve with some evil music) Ha.......ha ha...ahahahahahahahah.... Waitress enters Jack's cabin. Waitress: Sir, is everything ok? Jack: Yes, I just rememberd a funny joke. Meanwhile at R.U.F.F. HQ. R: Guys I've already prepared for us a plan of defence. Kitty: What plan ? R: We will have a 3 level defence. I will represent the first level. As the temperature ouside is quite low, I will guard the entrance of the palace under the cover of an armed guard. Dudley, as you don't know Russian very well, you will take the second level of defence. You will guard the floor where the meeting will pass under the cover of an security agent, they don't speak very much. Kitty, you will get the last front. You will go undercover as a secretary inside the very room where the genereals will meet, assuring their security. Dudley and Kitty: We got it! Entering a giant vault. R: We will all need some specific weapons or gadgets for this mision. Dudley as you will have the role of a security agent you can take with you a small blaster and a tazer. Dudley: Cool, a tazer. R: Kitty, secretaries can't carry any weapons with them, that's why you will have this pen. Kitty: That's it?! R: Let me please finish, this pen is charged with a small arrown filled with tranquilizer, guaranteed to put asleep even a bear, not mentionning a rabbit. The second, and last shot of the pen, launches a net which will neutralize the criminal eventually. Kitty: That's not so bad at all. R: Yup, now I as a guardin can openly carry be me a high caliber blaster. Plus I'll have a coat in which I've managed to integrate a rocket booster, which will get me from A to B in seconds, and will be activated by a simple slap over my right shoulder. Ok, now let's dress up, Kitty, take a cover from the closet of agent O. Kitty: I don't think we wear the same size. Plus, won't she be againced that? R: Really, try this on (gives her a lday suit). And no, she won't (sadly) just like me, she was sent to G.U.F.F. and K to P.U.F.F. Kitty: Hm, I'm sorry. (tries suit on) I'm amazed it fits me just fine. R: I told you, you resemble me of her. Ok, you try this on while I help Dudley choose a suit himself. 10 minutes later. R: Ok guys, are you ready? Dudley and Kitty: Yeas we are! R: Ok, team ROK, let's roll. Kitty: R... R: Sorry, it's a habit, anyway let's go. Dudley, Kitty and R take their postions in the palce. In a very short time after Jack arrives in the respected area and plans his move. Near the palace: Jack (with some binoculars) (trembling with cold): I got to find a way to pass the guard at the entrance (referring at R). In the mean time: Passers-by (to R): Bro, you know what time is it? (slaps him over the right shoulder) R: Oops (takes off, screams): It's 2:34 pm!!!!!!!!!!!! (drops on the ground his blaster) Passer-by: Thanks man. Jack (watching the whole scene): What a luck (trembling with cold) for me! Jack runs to the entrance of the palace and sees R's blaster. Jack: This might be handy. Jack enters the palace walking with maximum prudence around when suddently, he seef right after the corner.... Jack: Hmm, it's Kitty's new unintelligent partner, Dipsey, that means she's near by. Untill then I need to watch him over and neutralize him. In the mean time Dudley walks through the palace then suddently se smells something, entering the banquet room. Dudley: CAKES, STEAK, CANDY, SHRIMP ! This isn't a palace, it's an.......AWESOME PALACE. Soon, Dudley starts his own fest. Jack: That's my chance. While Dudley was eating, Jack hit him over the head with a floor lamp. Jack: Good night Dipsey. (evil smile) Dudley (talking asleep): It's..........Dudley. (snores) In the meantime R lands with his boosters on the roof of the palace. R (via wristcom): Dudley, report the situation.......Dudley......Dudley. It seems he has been taken out. R (via wristcom): Kitty, me and Duley are temporally neutralized, that means Jack may enter the meeting room in just about any second. I'll come to the meeting room as soon as possible. Kitty (via wristcom, whispering): Don't worry as long as I'm here, the intel and the generals are safe. Right in this moment Jack enters the room with R's blaster. Jack: Sorry to bother you gentlemen, but you have something I need. (points blaster to the general which holds the complete list) Would you mind giving the list to me sir. Kitty rips off her cover: Nobody will be giving you anything Jack. (shoots the tranquilizor arrow from the pen, hits Jack). Jack: Nice move Kitty, but under my suit I have an armor protecting me from such kind of weapons. (shoots the pen off Kitty's hand) Jack takes the intel: Don't worry gentlemen, I'll return...a duplicate to you in a short time. Jack jumps off the window landing safely. In this very moment R runs into the meeting room. R: What happened here? Kitty: JACK'S GOT THE LIST!! R: Okay, you go and find Dudley, I'll take care of Jack (jumps off the window landing safely) While Kitty has been searching all the rooms, she hears some sort of snoring. Kitty: Yup, that's Dudley. (enters the banquet room) Dudley, wake up, what happened to you? Dudley: Kitty, I just has the most awesome dream of my life. I dreamt I had all the cakes and shrimp I ever wanted (sees the tables covered with food) (With a happy voice and sparkling eyes) It's not a dream. Kitty: Dudley, Jack, has taken the complete list, and R is after him, we gotta help him. Dudley: You're right, it's what heroes do! Kitty and Dudley head to the exit of the palace. In the meantime R is running after Jack. Slaps his shoulder and gains speed, pushing Jack in the snow. Jack: You're fighting with the wrong person, sir, I'm the best agent TUFF ever had. Attacks R but can't do any visible damage to R as he is bigger and has more brute force. R: Now it's my turn my friend. Throws Jack in the snow pressing his head to the snow. R: Would you mind giving me the list. Jack, defeated takes the list from his suit and hands it over. R: I see you're a person with a great taste in fashion. Those handcuffs will be a great accesory to your shoes. (puts them on Jack) Jack: Who are you? (trembles of cold) R: Someone you won't want to meet ever again. After a few more seconds, Dudley and Kitty run up to them. Kitty: R, you've managed to catch Jack? Dudley: COOL. R: No, we did, Kitty do you still have your pen? Kitty: Of course ! Kitty shoots the net at Jack. R: Great, now let's get back to R.U.F.F. HQ. Dudley and Kitty: Sur-r-r-e (tremble with cold) R: I can't watch you guys in a condition like thi. Here, take my coat. Dudley: But there are 2 of us and how about you? (trembles) R: You can both fit inside, and don't worry about me, I went jugging in weather like this. Over at R.U.F.F. HQ. Chief: Great job agents, thanks to you, we are a step closer to world peace. That's why Dudley and Kitty, I'm handling you theese Badges of Honorific R.U.F.F. agents. Dudley: Oooh, shiny! Kitty: Thanks. R comes in. R: Guys, I'm hungry after this mission, who want to go to a nice restaurant. Dudley: ALL RIGHT! Kitty: Why not? At a restaurant: Waiter brings everyone their food, and some fried solmon to R. Everyone starts to eat. Duldey (eating): So R, how did you find Jack out? R: He's a nice guy. Kitty: You really think that? R: Yup, (starts to eat solmon), he simply has a very........fishy nature. By the way, I hope you've liked working a little for R.U.F.F. Dudley and Kitty: It wasn't so bad. Kitty: So what is going to happen to Jack? R: He liked Russia's climat so much, he decited to enjoy it some more, in the R.U.F.F. prison. After meal. R: Guess we have to return to T.U.F.F. Dudley: Yes, my nose froze off here, togetther with something else. R: Ok, guys get in the R.U.F.F. Mobile, we'll arrive home in ashort time, now my car can reach up to 3 Machs. Dudley: As long as it has the barbeque grill, it's an AWESONE car. R: (laughing): Leave something for the rest. Dudley (eating barbeque): I can't promise it, even to you. THE END Category:Fan fiction